The Art of Learning How to Balance & Be More Present While Breastfeeding.

written by: Ma’Khya Culbreath 2023 BMBFA Mommy Ambassador

I am so proud of myself during this breastfeeding journey for really savoring every precious.

Being conscious and really planted in these moments of this bonding time with my baby, especially coming from living a fast-paced, always on the go lifestyle as a flight attendant.

It was really important for me to become more present in my moments. 

Being able to really be intentional and present in the moments of first conception, being pregnant in general, keeping up with each milestone, constantly growing and evolving this baby inside of my womb,  to actually birthing my baby was so important to me. Then going from her being Earth-side to me breastfeeding, following learning how to latch then learning how to pump. Going through all these phases and learning so much information along the way; I am definitely grateful for being able to just be, and really soak in every lesson and moment in preparation and even still to this day. 

I really have just been blessed from the very start because , although I had a traumatic first birthing experience at the hospital with not being able to push my baby out vaginally like I originally envisioned and instead having a cesarean. Of course this hurt my chances of being able to have a good breastfeeding experience but still I was persistent. There was no lactation consultant to guide me . (BMBFA and Birth Detroit classes are the only reasons why I was able to feel so confident going into breastfeeding)and to top it all off my daughter went straight to NICU.  Her father and I were not able to do skin to skin right away, so really I got to my daughter hours later wrapped up in cords . I still didn’t do skin to skin the first few days. It wasn’t until maybe  the third or fourth day when I actually did lay her on my chest and then even from that moment she didn’t latch immediately. I pumped and just took the milk down to her in the NICU where they also gave her formula without my knowledge. She didn’t latch on until maybe the day before she was released from NICU which was day 5 of her being earth-side. 

Luckily for me there was a NICU nurse that really enhanced my experience. She showed me so much tender love, kindness and shared so much information . It was so natural and organic. 

From that very moment, when that nurse showed me how to latch my baby, I hadn’t had any problems at all. My baby latched on right away.  It was different and a little uncomfortable but not painful which is how I knew I had done it successfully. 

She still is latching to this day, and we’re having an amazing bonding experience.

Increasing my endorphin levels and being able to just bond with her on that level and have that safe space with her to bring us back in when we’ve had a hectic day and to just refocus my attention to why I do this in the first place is such a beautiful realization. Being present in these moments helps me to recenter myself in a world where there is always task after task to be done. 

Although I’ve had such a beautiful & overall positive experience on my breastfeeding journey I also can say confidently that it is a hard path to go down and I now understand why some women may not always see it through or may want to quit  because it is absolutely not for the weak. It’s a different kind of stress. To have to be able to maintain a pump schedule, or even give so much of yourself , your energy and your nutrients to your baby and then have to replenish those nutrients then also maintain your household ,  do the laundry , cook , clean , making sure you eat to replenish , being present with your partner and in your family life and still working a 9 to 5 and then still having time to do things that pour into you as far as activities and self-care, it can be a lot to juggle.

So that is why I say that I am proud . I’m most proud of how far I’ve come and the ability to master just being in one moment and being present in that moment, fully being aware and able to just BE. It is hard but even still I am grateful through the storm.

In this journey, I am redefining and rediscovering who I am as a woman, a friend, a romantic partner , a sister , a daughter , etc.  figuring out who I am as a mother and redefining all the other aspects of my life through this one purpose that I just discovered in my late 20s. 

It truly is a beautiful journey. 

There is resilience in my story, and my journey of balancing life while breast-feeding.

Learning to be mindful, present and just breathe in all situations has saved me from feeling overwhelmed in this new grand title and responsibility as a mother!